He's odd and he loves bacon.

Below is a list of my brother's most absurd Facebook posts.
He makes me laugh. I thought he might make you laugh, too.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

16Jun/10

The more I get into quantum theory, I find the need for long integral equations starts to, I don't know, disappear. I'm pretty sure everyone knows that tons of stuff can be done solely by just knowing that eigenstats are orthogonal AND by asserting that they have been normalized. I'd type out some of Diracs simplified notation but I think I'll get another beer instead.

Friday, June 11, 2010

11Jun/10

Jason uses his super-computer mind and still comes up with the same sh!t to type on his facebook status.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

09Jun/10

Jason thinks consciousness and quantum mechanics are somehow related.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

05Jun/10

Jason is a singularity.

05Jun/10

Jason is out of beer. So I win, 12 - 0.

05Jun/10

Jason, if translated could be made into at least two books.

05Jun/10

Jason weee!

05Jun/10

Jason is a huge amount of explanation. I just IS.

05Jun/10

Jason has a footprint that catches spirits. A mystical representitive that appears in rituals and symbols. None of which was made in his own brain cloud. Only other peoples, and crazy sh!t like that.

05Jun/10

Jason didn't invent any complex systems of consciousness or thought. No secrets here b!tches.

05Jun/10

Jason may slip on the sidewalk. But the general public knows nothing of science. So in a way, it's like nothing even happened.

05Jun/10

Jason will never offer proof of his actual powers.

05Jun/10

Jason will never have nothing stupid to say.

05Jun/10

Jason believes that he is an exerpt speller.

05Jun/10

Jason sees the wild dogs. They are among the rarest but most efficient. Teamwork. Their strategy. Target. They seem to form around their pray. Moving in total silence they take their position.

05Jun/10

Jason continues to type interesting things. This is a lush keyboard of change and apprehensive swiming monkeys.

...and not just like 2 or 3 monkeys. Like a whole bunch.

05Jun/10

Jason will never fly. Not like those birds and all those wings and stuff. It's probably due to not having feathers.

05Jun/10

Jason travels with the catfish and the birds in the mist. It's a seasonal thing.

05Jun/10

Jason knows what the prime directive is but is always at odds because lets face it, we all know how tasty aliens are.

05Jun/10

Jason has never been good at searching desperatly for water. I've never had to journey for it, like the buffalo. Never seen a dust storm or been seperated from my calf. I am a sanctuary of the main heard. What?

05Jun/10

Jason carries water then condences it into clouds and produces monsoons. Of course, I need the suns help.

05Jun/10

Jason is at one with the giant sharks and whales. His brain migrates with them, to the south.

05Jun/10

Jason sees the awsomeness of surprise. The chase. The whale and a sea lion between its teeth.

05Jun/10

Jason is humbled by the suns influence on the oceans. Jason believes that our amazing planet is richest within its waves and the big fat whales that strike the surf.

05Jun/10

Jason soaks up most of the forests plants and animals.

05Jun/10

Jason is riddled by the suns color on the landscape. The Earth continues to spin.

05Jun/10

Jason wrestles a giant cheese.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

01Apr/10

Jason is thinking of typing something that doesn't sound stupid. Dang.

01Jun/10

Jason fight the chowder.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

25May/10

Jason sometimes wishes he was Kenny Rogers so when he sings The Gambler, he'll totaly sound like Kenny Rogers.

Friday, May 21, 2010

21May/10

Jason watched an old man walk up to my fence and smell it. I guess that's a compliment?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

12May/10

Jason really has to write a bacon song one day.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

11May/10

Jason wonders if he puts a peice of bacon under his pillow, will the bacon fairy come and leave a pig?

Friday, May 7, 2010

07May/10

Jason thinks that if water was more like air, we sure would see a lot more fish in the city.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

24Apr/10

Jason thinks those spicey hot chicken wings last night were spicey hot again this morning.

Friday, April 23, 2010

23Apr/10

Your bacon will become crispy only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, eats all the crispy bacon...

23Apr/10

Bacon has only one owner at a time. That's why bacon is lonely.

23Apr/10

Jason is about to type something extraordinary...

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

20Apr/10

Jason is worried he'll stop being invited to high class parties if he keeps trying to fertilize the caviar...

Sunday, April 18, 2010

18Apr/10

Jason thinks nobody is listening until you fart.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

17Apr/10

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Friday, April 16, 2010

16Apr/10

A hand in the bush should be cleaned regularly.

16Apr/10

Just because you have a hammer doesn't mean the bunnies will stop chasing you.

16Apr/10

It's only kinky the first time.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

15Apr/10

Jason thinks that before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

14Apr/10

Jason thinks he is unique. Just like everybody else.

14Apr/10

Jason thinks another crisp cool beer is a pretty good idea. Not like that other idea about not having another crisp cool beer.

14Apr/10 with guests

Jason thinks he'd better work out a set of scientific principles that describe the known behaviour of energy and matter that predominate at the atomic AND subatomic scales.

Yasher comments: Ah, I wondered what was going on with your profile pic. I was confused with the "-" part.

Jason comments: Ya, I gues it would have made more sense if I wrote the differencial operator to but then I'd have to keep going and I'd just end up messing with the Schrodinger equation for particles per box and I keep screwing it up.

Yasher comments: Wait, particles? I thought Schrodigner's cat was in the box. Now you have me all mixed up!

Jason comments: The cat IS the particles!

Dean comments: Whoa!!what the hell are u guys talking about????can u explain????lol.....

Yasher comments: Schrodinger's 'cat in the box' experiment: This is a hypothetical experiment in which we put a cat inside a box with some equipment which releases poisonous gas on detection of electrons. In this case, after an hour, one would say that he doesn't know whether the cat is dead or alive, and this can be known only by looking inside the box. But according to quantum theory, it is better to say the cat is half dead or half alive, until we check on it. Confused! Actually it is based on the basic assumption of probability and not the fact. Fact comes in picture when we actually see inside the box, till then it's all about probability.

Yasher comments: I copied that from the Internet, by the way. I knew about Schrodinger's Cat because of our Dad, who digs Quantum Mechanics, but the idea was made funny on the sitcom Big Bang Theory.

Yasher comments: Jason, the answer is obviously 42. Stop thinking so much about it. Sometimes the answer just IS.

Jason comments: You think thats confusing? Try using Euler's formula and then you can throw all that out the window!

Yasher comments: Oh don't even get me STARTED on Euler! *wonders if anyone else releases how full of crap we are*

Dean comments: I feel a little less stupid.... thank you!Sitcom's "whoa" don't watch them..but I know my roommate watch's that show,it looks funny..

Jason comments: If by 'crap' you mean unifying fundamental forces through quantum mechanics, then yes.

Yasher comments: LOL And I don't know where Jason's getting this stuff, but I've been laughing my head off for the past half hour at this stuff.

Yasher comments: Oh so I suppose next you're going to say the more precisely the energy of an object is known, lesser is certainty in calculation of its position in time, and vice versa, also applicable for the position and momentum of an object?

Jason comments: Stop laughing! I'm attempting to unify field theory of the electromagnetic, weak and strong interactions! It's very hard! ... woops, spilldid my drink

Jason comments: are there quantum physics in Winnipeg?

Yasher comments: *pissing self laughing*

Jason comments: ...."the more precisely the energy of an object is known, lesser is certainty in calculation of its position in time, and vice versa, also applicable for the position and momentum of an object?" - Well, smarty pants, you didn't even mention anything about gravity there. Try using semisimple groups to exhibit similar properties WITH gravity and THEN we're cooking with neutrinos! Haha, thats a joke btw.

Yasher comments: A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

Jason comments: Ha!

Jason comments: Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."

Yasher comments: HA! I had to email this entire conversation to Dad. He'd be proud.

Jason comments: :D

Thursday, April 8, 2010

08Apr/10

He who controls the spice, controls the universe!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

06Apr/10

Jason enjoys a fine cheese.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

03Apr/10

Jason is full of ham and beer.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

30Mar/10

Jason is a chicken magnet. A crispy chicken magnet. Chickaaaaaaaaaah

Friday, March 26, 2010

26Mar/10

Jason drank a beer.

Monday, March 22, 2010

22Mar/10

Karate Chop vs. Pork Chop. Pork Chop wins!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

20Mar/10

Jason had some gas splashed in my eyes while I was at the dump today. I don't recommend this.

Monday, March 15, 2010

15Mar/10

Jason is day dreaming about bacon.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

06Mar/10

Jason has pretty much beaten the ninja cold down. But a cough remains. A samurai cough.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

04Mar/10

Jason is fighting a cold. A ninja cold.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

02Mar/10

The world is more like it is now than it ever has been before.

Monday, March 1, 2010

01Mar/10

Meat from other animals, such as beef, lamb, chicken, goat, or turkey, may also be cut, cured, or otherwise prepared to resemble bacon.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

25Feb/10

Jason wishes he was like Spiderman. But rather than shooting web out of his wrists, it would be bacon. And instead of being able to climb walls and what-not, he could fry the bacon with his fingers tips. And instead of the Spider mask, there would be a strip of bacon across his eyes, like Geordi La Forge from Star Trek.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

24Feb/10

Jason is fighting Ninja!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

23Feb/10

Jason turns bacon into poop.

Just wait for my next trick.. turning poop into bacon. Currently looking for taste testers.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

20Feb/10 with guests

Jason sniffs for gold

Yasher comments: Well you smell like butt. Okay, I don't know why I said that. I've been hanging out with my kid too much. Who, by the way, draws every picture with fart lines coming out the back of people. Jason. Thanks for that!

Jason comments: Hehehe, fart lines. That was great

Yasher comments: Yeah, it continues to be quite hilarious. My kid is lucky that her mother is so fabulously immature. Seems to run in the family...

Jason comments: Turns out I really do smell like butt sometimes.

Ysaher comments: I must be psychic, eh?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

10Feb/10

Bacon. The chocolate bar of meats.

Friday, February 5, 2010

05Feb/10

Buh. Akin. Bacon.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

30Jan/10

Jason thinks that sh!t would be a lot different if he could just breathe water.

30Jan/10

Jason 'aint fakin' no bacon makin'.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

28Jan/10

Jason enjoyed eating those yummy ribs tonight. Jason will also enjoy their exit tomorow morning. But not as much as the eating part.

Monday, January 25, 2010

25Jan/10

Jason reminds everyone that bacon may be eaten smoked, boiled, fried, baked, or grilled.

25Jan/10

Jason is working to bring home the bacon.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

23Jan/10

Jason just planted a tree in the backyard. I can't wait for the crispy bacon to start growing from its branches!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

21Jan/10

Jason wonders if bacon showers really does rhyme with Jason ...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

20Jan/10

Jason believes in bacon at first sight.

Friday, January 15, 2010

15Jan/10

Jason surfs the bacon.

Friday, January 8, 2010

08Jan/10

Jason wonders if bacon is a color.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

06Jan/10

Jason is going to invent bacon kites. And then pigs really WILL fly! I guess it will really just be a portion that will fly, not an entire pig. So ya, that "when pigs fly" saying doesn't really apply. All this typing is slowing my inventing down.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

22Dec/09

Jason is hoping Santa leaves some bacon under the tree this year.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

12Dec/09 with guests

Jason is going to place small pieces of bacon on his pillow so he can snack throughout the night.

MJ comments: That makes me think Bacon Ferry.

Yasher comments: MJ is right. The Bacon Fairy will come and leave you teeth.

Chris S comments: yum yum pigs bum

Jason comments: More teeth means I can eat more bacon?

Yasher comments: Not if the Bacon Fairy takes the bacon you've left under your pillow. I'd lay in wait then grab the wing-ed freak and give her a bacon shake down when she shows up!

MJ comments: Geez, you would think I could spell fairy. lmao

Jason comments: I don't know. A Bacon Ferry I think beats all. You can have a bacon piece, a bacon fairy and even a yum yum pigs bum but a ferry made of bacon is nothing like you have ever seen. You can not deny this bacon truth that we all share. Please place small pieces of bacon on your pillows. Then it will be complete. Surf the Bacon.

Friday, December 4, 2009

04Dec/09

Jason is made of atoms acting according to the laws of physics.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

26Nov/09

You can dance, you can dance, everybody look at your pants.

Friday, November 20, 2009

20Nov/09

Jason wonders if he had 2 extra fingers, would he type 16% faster?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

19Nov/09 with guests

Jason is Porkboy, the breakfast monkey.

Wonko comments: Do you fight evil with your pork sword? :)

Yasher comments: It says so on his birth certicate and everything!

Friday, November 13, 2009

13Nov/09

Jason wants the bacon.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

12Nov/09

Jason likes the bacon.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

10Nov/09

One word. Chicken wings.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

08Nov/09 with guests

Jason has 64 moose at his disposal.

Charlotte comments: Is there a place in the suburbs of Richmond to safely and legally store 64 moose? Are you hiding them in that big Buddhist temple?

Jason comments: How did you know my mooses were Buddhist?

Yasher comments: *laughs coffee out her nose* I love you Jason. And your Buddhist mooses.

Stu comments: are they moose monks?

Yasher comments: *laughs coffee out nose again, and isn't even drinking coffee right now*

Friday, November 6, 2009

06Nov/09

Jason has 64 ninja at his disposal.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

05Nov/09

Jason likes to poop and thinks everybody likes to also.

Monday, November 2, 2009

02Nov/09

Jason is an attached file.

Yasher comments: ...with cheese.

Stu comments: and bacon

Friday, October 2, 2009

02Oct/09

Jason is a master yodeler. And I have a cookie.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

22Sep/09

Jason is Laser Sword!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

13Sep/09

Jason went to the zoo! And they let me leave.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

12Sep/09

Jason is all up in there.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

25Aug/09

Jason is going to press some buttons and hopes that something smart will become of it... well, better luck next time I guess.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

20Aug/09

Jason is looking forward to the weekend. "Oh Suneth, come and smite me with your smitting rays of happy sunshine time..."

Monday, August 10, 2009

10Aug/09

Jason got a Tetanus shot and a wart frozen off my foot. Now I can step on as many dirty old nails as I feel like.

MJ comments: Have fun with that!

Nicole comments: someone told me about licking it in the morning when u wake up works as well

Jason comments: Are you talking about Stu and his famous wart removal system? You crazy! I don't want to lick my foot let alone lick a wart on my foot!

Stu comments: Lol! I'm telling you it works damn it! Beside I just want to see you get your foot to your mouth. Monkey fart breath.

Jason comments: I don't know if I can even... ok, yep. I can lick every part of my foot.

Peter F comments: after 40 you can't lick your feet anymore. That's prob a good thing. LOL

Saturday, August 8, 2009

08Aug/09

Jason had a nail through his foot today.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

02Aug/09

Jason swats at the 3 or 4 mosquitos that have made it past the perimeter...

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

28Jul/09

Jason is sticking to a leather chair.