19Dec/11

Will not eat bacon until I can taste again.

13Dec/11

is not

11Dec/11

is

09Dec/11

So lets say, just for fun, you and a bottle of Exlax is put in a room shielded of environmentally induced quantum decoherence. If an internal gas meter detects a fart, the Exlax is forced down your throat and you poop all over the room. The Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics means that after a little while, you're pooping and not pooping at the same time. But when someone looks in the room, they see you pooping or not pooping, not both pooping and not pooping at the same time. Isn't that cool?

01Dec/11

I'm not really big on movie or tv show remakes but I think I'm ok with someone remaking "Santa Claus is coming to town" or "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" cause this shit is starting to look real creepy now...

29Nov/11

So it turns out that yelling "I drink your milkshake!" to the Tim Hortons drive through worker isn't as funny to them as it is to you.

28Nov/11

The only good piece of bacon is a piece of bacon.

25Nov/11

I once farted an entire soup.

17Nov/11

Let them eat bacon.

07Nov/11

Jason prepares the red matter.

03Nov/11

When the world gives you lemons you put them in the fridge and grab a beer.

28Oct/11 with Guests

Jason says: Now in brief, so many difficulties stem from apparent conflict between several principles of quantum measurement. So when you try to measure the dynamics, you just get pissed off. And then it's like, I'm just going to get another beer.

Yasher says: Well what are you trying to measure the dynamics WITH? It's those little details that can skew the whole thing. You can't get sloppy with Quantum Measurement, Jason. You can't just eye ball it, ya know?

Jason says: Bah it doesn't matter what I'm measuring with, the entanglement is all the same. I guess I was expecting more.

Yasher says: You always set your hopes too high with this stuff. Have you considered that the beer caused you to neglect to carry the 1 again?

Jason says: No, I can carry a lot more than just one beer.

Yasher says: Well you've always been a man with many talents. Except for when you weren't.

Ashley W says: Best. Status. Ever

Keith S says: im not sure but tha quasi sim code of the beer makes me end up in some sort of shackles ... weird

Glen C says: so ya... string theroy, 21 dimensions, time travel, endless dimensions quantum entanglement. what the hell i need a flat of beer

Jason says: If only it didn't cost so much to test quantum gravity...

28Oct/11

I like spaceships.

22Oct/11

If people would just slow down, take some time to watch the clouds float by and close thier eyes and smell the roses once in a while, I think it might be a little easier to steal thier wallet.

21Oct/11

Renovated the inside of his nostrils with a long fingernail.

I'm not even sure who's fingernail it was.

18Oct/11

Hasn't renovated anything in days.

17Oct/11

I think it would be cool if I could talk like Morgan Freeman. People would be like, hey you sound just like Morgan Freeman and I'd be like, I know.

15Oct/11

I wish pirates had a firm grasp on fundimental quantization cause shit just would have worked out so much better that way.

07Oct/11

I am what I do. I guess excellence is my habit.

03Oct/11

Dancing with the Farts.

29Sep/11

Find a cookie, pick it up.

Then all day you'll probably be looking for more cookies.

28Sep/11 pt. 2

Neil says: riddle me this ....... what is the longest yet the shortest thing in the world , the swiftest and the slowest , most divisible and most extended,least valued and most regretted,witout it nothing can be done,devours everything and gives life to all things ??? the answer to come later ..... or guess

Jason says: Cookies?

Brian says: bacon?

Shawn says: Time.

Neil says: lol the answer is ........ TIME

Brian says: whats that? Time for bacon?

Keith says: i like cookies and bacon

Jason says: I have time for both

Neil says: time is as time does

28Sep/11

Jason says: The wings were so spicy it'll be a burnin' eye in the morning.

Yasher says: I read that like you're talking like a pirate. It makes it even funnier.

Jason says: Hahahaha it's way better that way!

Jason's wife says: Quit your whining, husband! Dab, don't wipe!

Yasher says: LOL It's funny when you read the Wife's comment in 'Pirate', too!

Jason says: I'm reading everything in pirate now. And I dont dab.

Jason says: I swab me hearties, yar.

Yasher says: *laughing me hearty little arsey bits off, AR!*

25Sep/11

On the topic of Jason's new Man Cave renovations:

Shannon says: This is going to be great - where does the beer fridge go?

Heather says: I like new studs.

Jason says: Beer fridge just around the corner. Maybe I'll go and use it right now!

Stu says: Jasson you stud

Neil says: new studs in ? did the wife get tired of her live-in stud and x-change you for somthing newer ??

Jason says: I screwed every one of those studs at least two times. And there's 36 of them. I guess I'll try anything 72 or more times...

Stu says: Wild. Good job Jasson. Where's the drum kit go?

Jason says: I don't know yet but build it and it will drum?

24Sep/11

Jason says: My face continues to sense beers near it.

Yasher says: I think there's an ointment you can get for that...

Shannon says: Beer Balm?

Jason says: Mmmm beer balm

Shannon says: .... and you shall be anointed with said balm....

23Sep/11

I sense a beer near my face.

20Sep/11

You can never be totally prepared for an alien anal probe.

18Sep/11

Jason: Ponders if you had two bum holes, would you have two poops of equal mass or would one be larger than the other? Maybe they wouldn't even poop at the same time which would really mess up the whole going 'one or two'. Cause you might have to go three right?

Wonko: One more doggy door to "release the hounds"

Wonko: The two-headed turtle?

Jason: Do you wipe with one hand? Which bum hole first? Is there bum hole priority?

Wonko: If you have the squirts, whatever you do, don't cross the streams!

Jason: Never cross the streams!

17Sep/11 pt. 2

Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom...

17Sep/11

Summer is gone and the turkeys are getting fat.

22Jul/11

To pick is to search. To pick a nose is to remedy. To flick the pick is just good times.

21Jul/11 Part 3

21Jul/11 Part 2

Bacon exists as waves but it's a particle when observed?

21Jul/11

Advertising is advertising advertising.

19Jul/11 with Thanks to Corona Beer

In physics or chemistry, beer particles are the smaller particles composing good times and super awesome times. There are two types of beer particles: buzz particles, which are not made of other particles, and other peoples buzz particles and how they interact.

17Jul/11 with Apologies to Mother Nature

Rain, rain piss off.

(I'm not sure where this photo comes from. If it's yours, let me know and I'll give you the proper credit for this totally awesome, if not a bit damp, shot!)

14Jul/11 with Apologies to Jim Henson

This is what I look like when suffering from an allergy attack.

Like I am right now.

11Jul/11

You got Deuterium in my Tritium!

02Jul/11

Wife, daughter, sun, beer, water fights, music, bugs, wispy clouds, people cheering in the park. Feeling good.

20Jun/11

When the piñata starts hitting back it probably wasn't a piñata at all.

17Jun/11

Jason, on the Canucks' loss of the Stanley Cup to the Boston Bruins: My beard just wasn't big enough.

Yasher says: But it had fun, and that's all that matters, right?

Yasher says: It didn't riot, did it?

Jason says: As the beard layed in it's final resting place, it expressed anger and bewilderment towards the sensless riot. It stared up from the trash bin and cried in happiness for the good people who came to put the streets back together again the following morning. Then it vanished.

Yasher says: That's one heck of a beard!

24May/11

The Canucks win their way into the Stanley Cup Playoffs!

Now we just have to wait and see who they will be playing against.

Jason is a bit happy about the news.

21May/11

All bacon is worth having.

20May/11

Bacon Yes
Snapping and glittering
Hot pan full
Crispy meat so tasty

18May/11

My crazy playoff beard helps the Canucks pwn the Sharts! ... Again!!

(Yasher replies: Sorry Jason, it is, in fact, my Canucks bracelet that is the reason behind their stellar winning streak.)

13May/11

Jason posts: E=f*h, where h is 6.63 * 10E-34 Js

(I have no idea where this picture comes from or if Jason made it himself. If he 'borrowed' it from you, let me know and I'll be happy to give you credit.)

Wait... what? Does Jason's post have anything to do with bacon? Or guns? Or bacon guns? After some research (2 seconds on Google) I have come up with this:

http://www.thebigview.com/spacetime/quantumtheory.html

Short version is that Jason's post is a universal constant.

Much like the awesomeness of bacon.

Well done Jason!

Which, coincidentally, or maybe not so much, is exactly the best state for bacon!

07May/11

Bacon is nothing without a face to enjoy it.

03May/11 from Wonko

Wonko's post to Jason:

Jason's reply: Bacon>Logic

Neil M's reply: the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.. or the one

unless the one is bacon to assume otherwise would be quite illogical

03May/11

The second step in enjoying tasty, tasty bacon is usually when it is placed inside your face.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

And now, a Public Service Announcement from Jason.

Our apologies to Gene Roddenberry and William Shatner.

27Apr/11

If you sit back, relax and start to think about something, someone might grab one of your slices of bacon. So try not to over think stuff.

(Not sure where Jason got this photo or if he 'made it'. If it is your photo and you'd like credit, let me know and I'll give you credit!)

25Apr/11

Neil to Jason: i saw a pack of bacon yesterday .... and if you can believe it , it was getting a tatoo of YOU .... lol

Jason to Neil: Just when you thought bacon couldn't get any sexier.

(As usual, I've nabbed this photo from the internet. If it's yours and you'd like credit, please let me know and I'll be happy to give you the credit that you TOTALLY deserve, because this pictures is AWESOME!)

17Apr/11

The way is bacon.
It was made by the ones who eat it.
And the ones who eat it keep it.
The way is bacon.

28Feb/11

If I had an ion propulsion engine or maybe even several of them we'd be on our way. Who's got the Xenon?

Note from Yasher: Jason advises that this is an Ion Thruster. I have no idea why he knows this. Frankly, I think it's a drum kit and he's just having a laugh. If this is your photo and you would like credit, please let me know and I'll be happy to do so.

01Feb/11

Scallop vs. Bacon and everybody wins!

Again, I don't know where this picture comes from. If you took it, let me know and I'll give you credit.

30Jan/11

When I'm in traffic and getting annoyed, I like to scream at the person in front of me. Sometime when they yell back I thinks it's probably best that I just get off the bus.

Note from Yasher: I'm not sure where this picture came from, though it was likely nabbed from the Internet. If you took this photo, please let me know and I'll give you proper credit.

28Jan/11

When I wear my coat, I think it would be fun to pretend its really a big patch of moss. And when people say "Hey, I really like your coat" I would say "It's not a coat, it's a patch of moss". I bet they'd feel embarrassed because I don't think anyone really likes moss.

25Jan/11

If aliens ever land on my lawn and ask me if I would like learn all the mysteries of the cosmos, I'd first start looking around and then ask them if they've seen my dog. And then they'd all be worried that they landed their spaceship on him. But the joke would be on them because the dog is in the house. Haha, silly aliens.

24Jan/11

When bacon comes a knockin, you'd best be answering the door.

21Jan/11

My mouth is Bacon's event horizon.